Home for one week – random thoughts

We’ve been home for one week. It feels both longer and shorter than that all at the same time.

There are so many short stories it is hard to string them together, and I’m exhausted, which makes it hard to remember what day they happened. So these are my random thoughts on the first week home.

Beating Jet Lag

I read somewhere that the quickest way to get over jet lag was to spend as much time in the sunshine as possible, as this helps reset your body clock. This ‘fresh air’ strategy seemed to do the trick, not just for Charlotte, but for all of us. (OK, and I took some Melatonin too) We spent all day Sunday outside, and a good chunk of Monday and Tuesday as well. By Wed. we were all feeling pretty human again and Charlotte was back to her regular pattern of morning and afternoon nap, to bed at 7:30 and a couple of night wake-ups/feedings. That was the best we got in China, so it is the best we can hope for here.
I should also add a confession here. Steve and I were going through strategies on how to get Charlotte to sleep, and I realized that in China we had a beer after dinner pretty much every night. Hmmm – we pondered through our jet-lag daze – perhaps Charlotte is used to Mom smelling like beer and perhaps she would find that comforting. Gotta give it a try, right? So on Wednesday night I had a beer and WHAM, our best night ever. She was only up 1x @ 2:00, drank some milk, and then went back to sleep until 5:30. The bad news is that now I have to find some beer chewing gum or something because I don’t think that saying I need to have a beer every night “for the sake of my child” will go over well in the 6 month follow up with our social worker.

Sick and Tired

The week started off with everyone healthy, although Charlotte did have a wee bit of the sniffles. This has now blossomed into the full blown feverish, mucous explosion, coughing fit, vomiting, cold thing that every parent fears. (mainly because it is sad it see your kid in this state, but also because it is a major sleep disrupter.) It is really too bad, because we had just licked the jet lag, but now we were back to walking up 5-6 times/ night. Here is Charlotte's first popsicle (our attempt to keep her hydrated since she is not drinking much and eating nothing). Despite the face, she kept eating it, so she must have enjoyed it on some level!

Oh yeah, and did I mention that tooth number #2 and #3 have also appeared during all this excitement? Poor kid. Hell, poor all of us.
Also, we've discovered that Charlotte can really scream. Not normal, baby crying screaming either....it sounds like the screech that a cat makes when you step on its tail. Picture that @ midnight while you're trying to cuddle the child and console her - with her mouth right next to your ear! The good news: the screeching stops immediately as soon as the Orajel hits her gums. Bless orajel/ambasol and the dear people that make it.

Big Sister

AJ has been adjusting to the big sister thing pretty well. On Monday we all went to school together and did Charlotte Show and Tell from about 8:00 to 8:30. AJ has eagerly, almost too eagerly, helped with feeding, diaper changing and playing with Char. On Thursday night, she asked if they could play together in Charlotte’s crib before bed. We put both of them in there and they played together for ½ hour. It was so cute. AJ danced, sang and entertained, and Charlotte sat and giggled. Steve and I sat around the corner listening and smiling from ear to ear. They play in the crib and/or AJ’s bed nightly now, and Steve and I just back off and the two of them get some time together. I think this is probably the most important 20 mins. of the day for the two of them.

Crying like a baby, sounding like an old woman

AJ has also had some ‘moments’ this week. Wed. morning Charlotte was particularly cranky, and she was sitting in her high chair whimpering and then crying while I rushed to make her breakfast. (yes, this only involves taking some bread out of the bag, but sometimes this is harder than you would think. Sometimes the bread is frozen. Sometimes it is in the fridge but too cold. Sometimes it has green fuzz….but I digress). Anyway, I guess AJ had enough of the crying, and she told Charlotte so: “Charlotte! Why are you crying so much? You sound like an old woman. Stop crying like a baby.”
“Umm, Al,” I dared to point out, “she is a baby.”
“Well, she’s got 2 teeth now Mom, you’d think she could grow up a bit!”

You know you are second time parent when…..

So Steve and I are driving to his Dr. appt. to get his hand checked out, and Charlotte vomits pretty much the entire bottle of formula she has just consumed. It was a good one. There is nothing quite like the sound of a retching child in a rear-facing, hard to reach car seat to really get your blood moving in the morning. The following conversation ensues,
“Ah crap, is she puking?”
“Yep. Here, I’ll throw this blanket over her to see if we can save her clothes.”
“Is she OK? She sounds like she is choking. Should we pull over?”
“Naw, she’s OK, there’s just lots of it.”
“She’s really quiet now, what’s happening? Has she gone back to sleep?”
“Yep.”
“Hmmmm, you know, if we stop to clean her up we’ll be late for your appointment, plus we’ll probably wake her up and then she’ll be pissed."
“I agree. If she’s happy sleeping in puke, let’s let her sleep.”

And so we kept driving, Steve made it to his appointment on time, and Charlotte slept peacefully for another hour and 15 mins. If this had happened when AJ was 10 months old it would have been a major crisis, we would have definitely stopped the car no matter where we were, and the child would have been in clean clothes in less than 5 mins. In all our fussing she would have not have gone back to sleep, but she would have smelled better. Not sure if it is better or worse to be the second child……. : )

The kindness of friends and neighbours

Special kudos go out this week to the great group of people in our ‘hood who did all sorts of great things to make our time away and first week back a little easier.
To Lil and kids…..who brought food so we had a worry-free meal, made special drawings to welcome Charlotte, plus signed up to baby-sit AJ and then took the cancellation gracefully when AJ declared that she wasn’t going anywhere but Nana and Papa’s house
To Steph and kids…who .gave my parents a break while we were gone and who dug around their house to find hats to fit Charlotte’s great, big giant head. (None of AJ’s hats fit her!!)
To Sondra….who made the most beautiful, thoughtful quilt for Charlotte (this is still a work in progress, so you’ll have to wait to see it)
To Elisabeth and the gang across the field….. who made great welcome home artwork, gave both AJ and Charlotte special books, and gave me diaper and formula tips this week.

At peace with the world

It feels good to be home with our girls. We have lived in limbo for so long, I can’t tell you how relaxing it is to just get on with the business of enjoying life. I’ve never been much for waiting, nor am I particularly good with things I can’t control. I am so happy that the ‘family building’ portion of our lives is over and the family living portion has begun. For the first time in three years, I feel at peace. I’m not gazing out the window searching for the missing piece of our tapestry. Everyone is here, and everything is as it should be.